with another year which went by and into the second month of the new year...i cant help but to wonder...being in the 3 series now..am i in the right track in life...you know, the usual stuff, doing what i do for living, my circle of friends, relationships and fun buddies...fun buddies my ass..there isnt any...could it be just me that i disapprove so many who approach me or could it be there are so many weirdos out there or could it be just the fact that the general masses always liking what we cant have...ok fine! maybe its just me...liking what i cant have..
i do admit there are times i wish that i would want someone on my bed...your dirty mind going hyperdrive eh..PERVE!
dirty stuff apart, its nice to have someone or at least something kicking and alive on bed sometimes..im not talking about penis!
the embrace and the comfort..that could be fun..
on the other hand, i think everyone should start asking themselves these few questions hitting the BIG 3..0:
1. am i happy doing the job that i am doing?
2. do i see myself doing this job for the next 20-30 years (until retirement or death, whichever comes first)
3. am i going to get married (or would i be attracted to vaginas...eventually..compared to smooth, fluffy, pointy nips, with bubble butt, shortly cropped hair, smooth faced, chunky legged, short shorts wearing cute and smelling great, trimmed armpit and pube guy...? EVENTUALLY)
4. do you come out to your family or keep it to your self saying: one day ill figure it all out and ill know for sure what i want...reality check...if that day didnt come in the past 5 years....chances are it might not be..or it MIGHT
i think i need to start looking at different places..grinder, hornet, instagram, facebook (the slutty ones) just dont seem to be working out..
honestly i dont know where to look...why doesnt it happen like in the movies...i take train to go to work and there is this handsome and dashing guy (he would be wearing a tight slacks, where his bubble butt is accentuating and maybe one or two buttons on his shirt might pop frm his broad and defined chest) who walks into the train just seconds before the door closes..
i stand at the door and he stands facing me just a few inches from my face...hes wearing DKNY apple...he looks directly into my eyes and says..sorry...and i say casually thats okay...
hes a little awkward and a little panting...but he has the urge to continue the conversation because neither of us know where the other would get off..
he asks me: always take the train...? his blue eyes looked concerned and curious...i reply: yes, daily...its the mad rush hour...
him: tell me about it. im new here. my name is Dwayne (cliched i know ;P)
me: hello Dwayne, im Arun. Where are you from?
him: Im from down under (duh, easy choice...think hugh jackman)
me: are u here for work, or travelling?
him: im here on a business trip, will be here for a few days..then would go back..if everything goes well, might be here for a year or 2.. (of course there will b a possibility of it working out..ive got to have a fairy tale ending dont i?).. would you mind to show me around kl if thats not too much to ask?
me: sure why not? wheres your bed...err i mean where do u stay?
just like that...i bring him around kl to all the straight places, we dont disclose our sexuality...we get atrracted to one another...finding all sorts of excuses to meet and do activities together...maybe some swimming, cycling and rock climbling..err its just a coincidence that all these sports activities require us to wear skimpy and tight clothes..nothing more than coincidence...
we talk about our interests, our passion in life and realize that we both have a passion for charitable work and sports (obviously because we look so hot)..that apart to travel and meet new people..
eventually we visit one anothers place...have a great time and be great buddies...then one day while he gets drunk he accidentally kisses me and mumbles that he cant live without me in his life before falling asleep (heheheh i know, i know thats disgusting but then this is a happy ending movie, so the disgusting part is envitable)
the next day he asks me, did i say something yesterday before i fell asleep?
i reply by saying: only what needs to be said..(awwwwwww, i know right!)
he looks a little confused and nervous ...i go closer to him...look into his clear blue eyes and gently touch his lower lips with mine...and say: i cant live without you too...
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR???
all im getting from those dumb apps are:
fuck me please...
one day..just one day....it will happen for me too....