Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dont Take a Back Seat in Relationship and Tell Yourself: If Only That Didnt Happen, I Would Have Done So Many Things Differently.

a wise guy once told me: do as what your heart desires. as long as u think u are doing what u  think is right for yourself do it if it makes you happy.

the thing is, what is right for one man might not be right for another.. its a subjective statement but it makes a lot of sense.

from the simplest of things to more serious ones ranging from sexual preference, food, accommodation, trnasportation..and ultimately taking someone's life..

true we all know its wrong ethically and morally to take someone's life and that we are not supposed to try playing god...think again.

if theres a person who harms your loved one when they are just minding their own business would it be so wrong to inflict some pain back to them?

for an instance: you are walking down the street, minding your own business with your mom or daughter (ermmm why would someone with a daughter be reading this BLOG??!!) and out of nowhere this guy comes riding on the bike to snatch the chain, handbag or bracelet by slashing / strangling / hitting them..would it be so wrong to want to run him over with your car...

how about teachers who abuse children? im not talking about children who come from broken families where there have obvious phychological issues but children who have honestly forgotten to bring their book to school because they were up all night doing the homework in the middle of a morning rush and the teacher slaps him because she thought the child is lying..would it be so wrong to SLAP the teacher back to remind her that she too was once a child who probably went through the same just to be judged by her teacher..

how about a doctor who has misdiagnosed a patient or has prescribed the wrong medication that causes the patient to die..would it be so wrong to wish that the doctor's family member also dies to make him understand a loss? to make him take that extra minute and step to ensure that he doesnt make a mistake..obviously that person could be anybody's dad, mom, sis, brother, uncle, granpa, friend, partner.....for some that person could even be the ONLY person they depend on..

they are subjective, true enough but the fundamental emotion here is the one understands loss until they experience it and at that time it could be too late. end of they day anything we do, it is only meaningful when we do it with someone we love.

dont take a back seat in relationship and tell yourself: if only that didnt happen, i would have done so many things differently..

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Maybe i am wrong, i REALLY wish i am wrong... i just wish and pray that i dont end up like him...

First of all, yay for me for hitting 6 digits..feels so good..second of all my last post was in September 2011. Thats 5 months ago..

lot of things have happened in the last 5 months...ranging from taking a new job, moving from one state to another, getting scared and confused about the job.. some things were fun, others were terrifying, all o fthem being a good learning experience..

while early 20s was a good age to try new things professionally, going towards late 20s can be terrifying at times..

i ask myself these questions and dont really find a good answer to calm my nerves. WARNING: THEY MIGHT SCARE YOU AS WELL..have u guys had thoughts like:

1. what the hell am i doing?
2. can i do this job until i retire?
3. do i even like this job?
4. did i make a bad decision taking up this job in the first place?
5. am i earning enough money to buy my own place?
6. will i get lucky in life?
7. am i gay??>>>duh!!!,
8. will i find the right person for myself?
9. can i be faithful to that person?
10. if i do get married, would vagina be as good as butt? >>dont laugh ok!
11. would i be attracted to vaginas or have to pop up the lil blue pill every time before the session?
12. would i end up being a sad old man pumping iron at my 50s, living alone in my home, without a partner and ask questions like: WOULD U MIND A MATURED GUY??
13. would i live with my family forever?
14. what happens when everyone else moves on with their lives?
15. worse what happens when the central focal point of your live being your parents die?
16. how do u go on?

god, its terrifying isnt it?
im in my late 20s and these questions pop in my mind more frequently these days...while i dont regret any of the decisions i have made, i wish that i could figure it out..make sure i know the right decision to make when the time comes..

a 49 year old guys messaged me in pr and asked me: DO YOU MIND A MATURE GUY? and all i can think about is, how sad is this guy..alone and lonely at 49 looking for the mercy of people for attention..maybe i am wrong, i REALLY wish i am wrong..he could be a very successful guy with an excellent career, millionaire with a great family....i wish he is all those..if he is and just looking for a naughty session, im happy for him but if he is really a sad little old man.. i just wish and pray that i dont end up like him...

p.s: how many of you think that the guy with the sexy bulge is to die for and can Anderson Cooper get any hotter than this???
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