Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Maybe all men a naturally inclined to being attracted to other men.. the right moment and push, i dont think its not possible for every man to be turned into homosexuals?

its lunch hour and instead of enjoying a wholesome meal while enjoying the eye candy and man candy im here sittt.........ermmm man candy!

eye candy makes sense. a reference made to easy on the eyes men...but man candy???

doesnt it sound like reference made to the man's 'candy'..although we cant deny that a man's candy in all its form and glory fascinates. although personally i think man candy in underwear  is waaayyy sexier than out in the open all bushy and hairy..eww..


anyway, im still at my desk and putting my thoughts into writing.
on the top of my head, ive missed my workouts entirely this week and makes me feel like a loser...subconciously i feel like my muscles are shrinking although they might not have!

yesterday night was quite a revelation. packing my things at my current place to join a new job at a new place, i was as usual in my comfortable worn out cotton long pants and a white tshirt that flaunts my body (ahakss!.)

while packing i needed to sweep my floor which was not swept for god knows how long and when i went out to get the broom, there there was this guy, also my colleague who was browsing internet outside my room.

well since i was packing, getting sweaty and there wasnt that many people in the office, i just didnt wear my square cut underwear as it was not onlyafter working hours for myself but also my 'boy boy'. just when i was about to get the broom, this colleague of mine greeted me and i went to say hi to him. not that i wanted to at that hour of the day and i was all scruffy and kinda  messy looking (vain, i know!)

immediately, as if my mouth was located at my crotch, his eyes got fixated at my crotch.
maybe he noticed my bouncy 'jewels' and thought of 'examining' it further but he was almost staring at it. glances, i get it, but staring..whoa!

why did i feel offenced??well, he is a married guy with 4 kids. so whats with the staring?

earlier the same day i was using his lappy to connect to the internet and i saw his collection of porn pictures which depicted some feet fetish, stillettos and huge penises.

for the benefit of the doubt pictures of huge penis, feet plus staring at my crotch, could this guy be gay??

come on guys..4 kids>>thats plenty of vagina time and yet staring at my crotch..i dont know something is fishy..

he always makes penis jokes and also has some leg fetish both man and woman..

on the contrary there is also another guy in my office who is a father of 2 and as recently as this monday, he too was staring at my crotch..
if there is an award for attractive crotches, i think i stand a good chance of winning it. OR..

maybe all men a naturally inclined to being attracted to other men.. the right moment and push, i dont think its not possible for every man to be turned into homosexuals?

weird??
probably not.

speaking for myself, up until i was 25, i did not have sex with men. up until 22 i did not get arected being touched by men. up until 21i was neither attracted to men or women.

and then: enter university, get very close to roommate, hugging, looking at men in shower room, BAM!!!! a gay guy is born...

i cant help but to wonder. if i had a good fatherly...scratch that! good manly role model when i grew up, chances are, i would have like vagina..now i just keep wondering.

for all the bisexual dads reading this, be a good MAN roel model to your son. give them a shot at being STRAIGHT. as for me, i dont hold any grudges to what has happened. obviously i dont own a time machine. just go with the flow.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Dont Know If There Is Anyone Else In The Same Boat As Me, But If There Is, Send Me A Message And Lets Talk About What The Hell We Want In Our Lives

 hello everyone. first of all id like to say that i am still alive and kicking...lately my 'proffessional' life has demanded so much of me that i am no longer capable of indulging in my guilty pleasure.

i was lying down on my bed not too long ago and a thought flashed through my brain: what if i was not gay? how different would my live has been?

there were so many images that flashed through my mind and here i have listed the top 4 for your reading pleasure:

1. i would have probably responded to two of the lovely chinese girls who has confessed and hinted their love..lets use the word attraction for me. the first one, was a really funny girl and if that was not enough, she was also one of the cutest who always makes me smile, laugh my heart out and i could talk anything to her. if i was sad, or down, she always knew what would cheer me up.

we were in the same class during our secondary education. at first we were just friends until we became best of friends when were 16 or 17. sadly and unlucky for me this beautiful girl is already married with two kids. we still keep in touch and have a blast when we talk over the phone and i always ponder if i should just have responded to her when she told me she has a crush on me.....>>too late, i know..

the second girl was my colleague: the sweetest, cutest girl so charming and was wooed by so many guys. she knows what is good for thehealth and what is not, she doesnt gossip around, very positive, patient, professional in short perfect.

she hinted a few times to me. we get along very well. she laughs the loudest at my jokes and i think i also fell for her to a certain extend. 

u know heart flutter and butterfly in the belly feeling...i get those when she smiles at me..

and then she got registered two weeks ago. die die die!

2. my mom's question of: When are u getting married Arun, wouldnt be so irritating. i get panic attacks when she asks me this question. i dont know what to tell her. yes, mom u can look or mom, ill look myself or perhaps i think im gay but not sure....three possible answers and i dont have the balls to use even one.

i mean seriously?? how can a guy now know what he wants?? vagina / dick?? just pick one and stick to it right?? i wish it was that simple..really wish

3. i probably wouldnt have a trunk load of underwear in my room. straight guys dont keep trunk load of underwear right, or DO THEY??. maybe i would have been less obsessed with my looks, ass, legs and chest. i could have been a 'normal' guy and that would have sufficed instead of spending 3-4 days in a week to work out and have the best body.

the thing with my obsession with underwear...it is a sickness really. briefs, boxer briefs, square cuts, thongs, high rise, low rise, boxers, single colour, multi colour, transparent...name it and i have it..

4. maybe i would have been more positive when it came to relationships. now, attracted to a man, i think my relationships last untill i ejaculate. maybe i have not met the right man yet but i dont think i can be with just one man, so i dont think i should expect that from another man. the question of faithfullness is not a matter of sexual preference: i hear u guys complaining but how would it work when both are always so lustfull and on the look out for new meat??

i dont know if there is anyone else in the same boat as me,

but if there is, send me a message and lets talk about what the hell we want in our lives...

sounds like a plan? 
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