Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Stolen Heartbeat (Part 6)

Beep beep….another sleepless night. The cool breeze from the standing fan blowing right to my thin boxer sends a chill to my legs..turning over to grab my warm blanket I was curious to find out who could be sending me messages at 2.30 in the morning..

It was a cold rainy night, all I wanted to do was to reach into my bed and snuggle the night away, imagining the bolster is an adorable guy I cant wait to kiss..instead I laid there for hours not sleeping and that much far away from a wet dream!

I reached out to my phone and it was a guy 609m from my location. The question read: How are you? Seeking fun? t/b?

As exciting as it could have been 7 hours ago, I just ignored the messages in Grindr and focused on sleeping. The thing is, the more I focused the more active my mind became.
I asked myself, how did I arrive here? 8 years ago, his embrace was all that I needed to feel comforted and calm. Now, that im older, with plenty of choices of man meat and encounters which are far more intimate than an embrace it feels rather empty.

Since I was already up, I logged into my Facebook and weird enough, there was a message from him. He said: How are you?

The difference is, this time I am not so keen to respond…they say time heals everything and 8 years was pretty long to get over him.

Instantly I was taken back to the day that I left with my friend to the bus station while he looked at us taking off just the evening after the night he told me he would not be back the next semester..

The 3 hours journey back home was the longest journey I took in my life. I keep telling myself that life has to go on..but everytime our favourite song played on my mp3 player, I would lose it and tears flowed freely that night.

Luckily it was already dark and sniffles were the only thing audible that night. I wanted to text him immediately to say I missed him..but I didn’t..why?

Because I didn’t want to be clingy.
The days that followed were tough.. I was waiting for his call and he was waiting for mine but neither wanted to give in..then it finally happened.

I called him:
Me: Hey bro, how are you?
Him: Im okay here. How are you doing?
Me: I miss you like crazy >>that’s what I really wanted to say, instead I said: I allright. Quite bored at home.
Him: Yeah I play the computer games daily until my mom nags
Me: Haha….so hows the preparation to move to over there?
Him: We plan to survey the area later today..
Me: Okay (damn! Looks like he was serious afterall)…….long pause…hey bro, I got to go now, call u later…

>Then I hung up….
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