At the back
of your mind, you realize that the whatsapp group has become a lot less active.
You also hold the urge to not go all “EXTRA” by responding immediately.
In the
religion of Whatsapp group, responding immediately is taboo. If you do, people
might think you have a little too much time, or you are overly enthusiastic and
that does not bode well with “yeahh whatevs mate aura”.
There groups
where some members are always about their shit and when it comes to your turn
expecting the slightest of empathy and support, instead of allowing you to
vent, or rather attempt at venting, they ask you to be patient. Dafuk, you
shoudda told yourself that during your own shitstorm. Guess what?? Nope that’s not
the case.
Its always
the one who is the most concerned that have to put up with blatant negligence.
Lemme put it in another perspective, it is always those who try to be
supportive who gets taken for granted. Coz, lets face it, when you are always
available, you lose your value. Imagine a hottie who looks at you once while
swimming in a public pool. You feel excited, you feel anxious and thrilled. Imagine
the hottie does not stop giving you attention, his hotness becomes
questionable. People be like: He’s really hot, but he gives too much attention,
what could possibly be wrong??. Theres nothing wrong with the hottie, you pig.
You know
the part where you were told to be helpful without expecting anything in return,
that’s bullshit said by ungrateful people who has indeed received favour(s)
from others and they don’t want to return one. The easy way out is to imply
that you should not expect anything in return. Then there are the nasty ones
who say: I think you did this on your own, I did not ask you to do it. You had
a choice didn’t you?. Yes, we did have choice and we chose to be nice.
End of the
day, be a little smart about things.
They are
not wrong when they said, you had a choice, why are you getting upset when it
is not acknowledged or appreciate it.
I think as
human beings, some of us are wired to think of the greater good. Let it be your
family of friends. You feel like it is only human to be nice or to do something
nice for others. While others are wired to ask themselves: What good does this
serve me. If I do this for you, what may I get in return.
This is
more prevalent in hetero normative relationships. Boys in general are and will
always be calculative. That’s part of being alpha and what not. When he is nice
to a girl, its either he’s courting her or she has nice boobs. Ok scratch that,
hes being nice because he has something in mind to get in return.
I may be a
sceptic, but I cant deny it because I have personally seen it many times.
To be fair,
this shit is also common amongst herero normative relationships. There are guys
who can be sly and charming to get what he wants, while there are those who are
just ‘preys’.
It is your
own self that you have to do yourself any favour.
Teach
yourself to be independent. Some people may have their families and friends to
support them. Good for them. Universe blessed them with such.
Others, try
not to get into everybody’s business. I know, you become invested in other
people’s lives because you probably have gone through some similar
circumstances before. In the good spirit of trying to prevent the hassle, you
offer unsolicited advise to the people you care.
Maybe if an
advise it not requested from you, you should not offer it. Just focus on
yourself perhaps??
Unsolicited
advise may seem a little (a LOT) busy bodyish.
Then there are
people who get lonely when you no longer respond to their shit in whatsapp
group. Plenty of times, they would text in groups asking: Hey xxx, are you
okay, why haven’t you said hi in a while?.
Huh?, Why do
I have to say hi first every time? Am I obligated to?.
Why don’t you
initiate the conversation? Just ask if everything is okay instead of seemingly
imposing that a certain member of the group has not said anything in a while,
while the person who asked that is undeniably the one who demands the most
attention in the group most of the times while being the least responsive when
it is other people’s shit.
Personally,
my take is, you do you. You don’t need to conform to anybody’s expectations. Make
sure to gradually focus on your growth and personal wellbeing. There may have
been a time when all of you were the thickest of buddies. Over time, the
friendship might have been tried and tested. At least have the maturity to
acknowledge that you are no longer at that space. Leave when it is toxic and
consuming.
There will
always be people who want to get favours from you. Worse, take you for granted.
A man who makes a mistake once is human, a man who keeps doing the same mistake
is stupid.
Apply it in
all aspects of your life. Amongst friends, siblings, colleagues, etc. It is extremely
liberating. When you are used to managing on your own, you will respect
yourself more. You wouldn’t participate in unnecessary gossips. More importantly
your gut feelings will always remind you to focus on yourself coz u aint got no
time for other people’s shite.
Even more
important than that, you would stop relying on anyone.
The independence
would make you feel so damn confident. Confidence is so extremely attractive.
The next
time you put on an itty bitty pants to gym, you wouldn’t second guess yourself.
The next
time you intentionally bring a small hand towel instead of jumbo towel to
public pool, as you wipe yourself dry, between your thighs and you do it ever
so slowly and seductively, you would feel that much more comfortable in your
skin.
The next
time you linger slightly longer in the bathrooms of public pools and gyms, after
shower while caressing your tights / speedo bulge with a raging hardon trying
to pay the least attention to hunky boys walking about, WELL YOU ARE JUST A
SICK PERVERT!!!!
