From all the good motivation and response to these series from you guys (SHAME on those who did not! ;p)
im going to include 'never read before' personal touches rewrite Parts 5, 6 and 7...which means i have taken them off the blog..
i hope you guys enjoy it even more...
Part 5:>> Check and Mate! I could not move forward neither was I able to retract…it was a jolt of lightning across my brain..
Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Why did you do this to me? I wanted to scream at him..why did u become close to me? I was fine without you in my life..why do u want burst the hot air balloon when I am already elevated so high in the sky..
The basic human instinct..the ANGER..First step to admitting a frustration. I wanted to yell, I wanted to hit, I wanted to just leave the room…but CHECK MATE. I couldn’t..
I was not in a position to react…why??
Simply because what we had, it didn’t have a name..hes not my boyfriend, we were not in a relationship, basically we were nothing..the only thing we had in common was a mutual attraction…even that too could be a mere assumption, something our brain concocted..
I froze. I couldn’t take my hand off his chest because that would mean I am reacting..i had to pull myself together..and time is running out…I had to say something..
I hid my frustration behind a monotonous voice and pulled it together to ask him:
ME: You are not coming back?
HIM: Yes, if everything goes as planned I might not return next semester.
ME: Is there a reason why you had to…?
HIM: Just that my entire family is up north while I am far away here..my parents have metioned about this even before I enrolled here..at that time, we didn’t get any feedback from that university..thinking back, my parents are also aged and I really feel like they could use my company..
(MY MIND VOICE: Your parents are not kids anymore you ASSHOLE!)
ME: Are you really sure about this?
HIM: Kind of, my dad has already asked around and he’s pretty sure about me continuing my studies up north.
ME: How about her?
Obviously, I thought that to be an excuse for him to stay..
HIM: I don’t know how to tell her..haven’t mentioned it to her yet.
ME: I think you should..
For some moments, we just laid there staring at the ceiling, not saying anything..
I was pissed like I have not been pissed in my life before but there really wasn’t much that I could do..i told myself: enough of this bullshit of laying down together…hands on the chest and hugging and crap..just enough..if it meant anything he wouldn’t be leaving and he shouldn’t have made me………..fall for him
Then I said:
ME: Im really tired..i think im going to call it a day…and sat on the bed…hinting that im going to the other single bed that was in the room…
HIM: Yeah, me too…then he reached out to my palms and just held it, hinting that he wanted me on his bed as usual..Probably for the last time.
Difference is, this time I just couldn’t take it anymore..All these little gestures, they should mean something..If they don’t, they are just misleading an unsuspecting person..and it really hurts.
ME: Good night dude..
I stood up, walked away and turned the lights off..i knew he was staring at me for a long time but I just told myself I deserve better..
The morning after was awkward….unusually awkward..waking up next to the warmth of a person u care for and waking up feeling like you lost something dear can be overwhelming..we were both awake around 8 but neither spoke a word until its 11.30..we just laid there on separate beds..jokes, embraces, tickle, hair stroking, rubbing..they were all absent. All that remained was a cold dark room with lost causes..
I woke up, saw him looking at me, smiled at him and before he could respond, I went out to brush my teeth and take a shower…that was basically it..it was probably the last morning that we would be spending together and we were in cold war…
After an unusually long shower, I returned to the room and noticed that he is now on my bed…
NAKED AND HORNY WE MADE CRAZY DIRTY HORNY LUSTY LOVE that morning..
Only thing is …THAT didn’t happen!!
I knew he wanted to talk about yesterday but I just wasn’t in the mood to waste whatever remaining time we have together to argue..
Yes, argue..because somehow I was still pissed..so, before he could say anything I just said:
ME: What do u want to have for lunch? Im starving…he understood what I was doing and replied
HIM: Anything u want to have. Im starving too..
ME: Lets grab some chicken rice at the café..
HIM: Lets do that..what time is your bus?
ME: sometime around 4.30, when is yours?
HIM: Mine is always later..around 8…
So we just had two and half hours left before I had to go to the bus station..it all happened within 10 hours..from the moment he told me about leaving to actually saying goodbye..
We went for lunch and there wasn’t much to talk about…a strange occurrence given we have spent most nights talking till dawn..
At the café, there were stolen glances..him staring at me while im not looking and me doing the same when he’s not..
We both knew that that was it..but couldn’t say it out…
We came back to the room, I packed my things and texted my friend to send me to the bus station…he was still lying on the bed closely watching me…then I said..
See you around….looking straight into his eyes, I stressed these words:
I THINK IM GOING TO MISS YOU..
I immediately left the room after saying that because I felt like I was about to burst at any moment. My friend was already waiting at the lobby and he followed me till the very last step…
For one last time I saw him and tried to memorize how he looked like. His face, his hair, lips, arms, bubble butt, smell…………….we shook hands…not even a decent hug..and I got into the car..
From the corner of my eye, i saw him looking at me until im out of his sight..
Without even realizing, warm and fresh tears rolled down my cheeks…
>>>TO BE CONTINUED…………….