As You Wipe Yourself Dry, Between Your Thighs and You Do it Ever So Slowly and Seductively, You Would Feel That Much More Comfortable in Your Skin.

Whatsapp notification: <forwarded memes>. Quickly put a thumbs up, coz lets face it, you belong the group of people pleasing people who has to respond in some way. You acknowledge it and at the same time, you’d like to be this cool dude whos like….yeahhh whatevs mate…keepin it cool and chill.

At the back of your mind, you realize that the whatsapp group has become a lot less active. You also hold the urge to not go all “EXTRA” by responding immediately.

In the religion of Whatsapp group, responding immediately is taboo. If you do, people might think you have a little too much time, or you are overly enthusiastic and that does not bode well with “yeahh whatevs mate aura”.

There groups where some members are always about their shit and when it comes to your turn expecting the slightest of empathy and support, instead of allowing you to vent, or rather attempt at venting, they ask you to be patient. Dafuk, you shoudda told yourself that during your own shitstorm. Guess what?? Nope that’s not the case.

Its always the one who is the most concerned that have to put up with blatant negligence. Lemme put it in another perspective, it is always those who try to be supportive who gets taken for granted. Coz, lets face it, when you are always available, you lose your value. Imagine a hottie who looks at you once while swimming in a public pool. You feel excited, you feel anxious and thrilled. Imagine the hottie does not stop giving you attention, his hotness becomes questionable. People be like: He’s really hot, but he gives too much attention, what could possibly be wrong??. Theres nothing wrong with the hottie, you pig.

You know the part where you were told to be helpful without expecting anything in return, that’s bullshit said by ungrateful people who has indeed received favour(s) from others and they don’t want to return one. The easy way out is to imply that you should not expect anything in return. Then there are the nasty ones who say: I think you did this on your own, I did not ask you to do it. You had a choice didn’t you?. Yes, we did have choice and we chose to be nice.

End of the day, be a little smart about things.

They are not wrong when they said, you had a choice, why are you getting upset when it is not acknowledged or appreciate it.

I think as human beings, some of us are wired to think of the greater good. Let it be your family of friends. You feel like it is only human to be nice or to do something nice for others. While others are wired to ask themselves: What good does this serve me. If I do this for you, what may I get in return.

This is more prevalent in hetero normative relationships. Boys in general are and will always be calculative. That’s part of being alpha and what not. When he is nice to a girl, its either he’s courting her or she has nice boobs. Ok scratch that, hes being nice because he has something in mind to get in return.

I may be a sceptic, but I cant deny it because I have personally seen it many times.

To be fair, this shit is also common amongst herero normative relationships. There are guys who can be sly and charming to get what he wants, while there are those who are just ‘preys’.

It is your own self that you have to do yourself any favour.

Teach yourself to be independent. Some people may have their families and friends to support them. Good for them. Universe blessed them with such.

Others, try not to get into everybody’s business. I know, you become invested in other people’s lives because you probably have gone through some similar circumstances before. In the good spirit of trying to prevent the hassle, you offer unsolicited advise to the people you care.

Maybe if an advise it not requested from you, you should not offer it. Just focus on yourself perhaps??

Unsolicited advise may seem a little (a LOT) busy bodyish.

Then there are people who get lonely when you no longer respond to their shit in whatsapp group. Plenty of times, they would text in groups asking: Hey xxx, are you okay, why haven’t you said hi in a while?.

Huh?, Why do I have to say hi first every time? Am I obligated to?.

Why don’t you initiate the conversation? Just ask if everything is okay instead of seemingly imposing that a certain member of the group has not said anything in a while, while the person who asked that is undeniably the one who demands the most attention in the group most of the times while being the least responsive when it is other people’s shit.

Personally, my take is, you do you. You don’t need to conform to anybody’s expectations. Make sure to gradually focus on your growth and personal wellbeing. There may have been a time when all of you were the thickest of buddies. Over time, the friendship might have been tried and tested. At least have the maturity to acknowledge that you are no longer at that space. Leave when it is toxic and consuming.

There will always be people who want to get favours from you. Worse, take you for granted. A man who makes a mistake once is human, a man who keeps doing the same mistake is stupid.

Apply it in all aspects of your life. Amongst friends, siblings, colleagues, etc. It is extremely liberating. When you are used to managing on your own, you will respect yourself more. You wouldn’t participate in unnecessary gossips. More importantly your gut feelings will always remind you to focus on yourself coz u aint got no time for other people’s shite.

Even more important than that, you would stop relying on anyone.

The independence would make you feel so damn confident. Confidence is so extremely attractive.

The next time you put on an itty bitty pants to gym, you wouldn’t second guess yourself.

The next time you intentionally bring a small hand towel instead of jumbo towel to public pool, as you wipe yourself dry, between your thighs and you do it ever so slowly and seductively, you would feel that much more comfortable in your skin.

The next time you linger slightly longer in the bathrooms of public pools and gyms, after shower while caressing your tights / speedo bulge with a raging hardon trying to pay the least attention to hunky boys walking about, WELL YOU ARE JUST A SICK PERVERT!!!!