I find men to be attractive and not ashamed of it..

I find men to be attractive and not ashamed of it..

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Maybe i am wrong, i REALLY wish i am wrong... i just wish and pray that i dont end up like him...

First of all, yay for me for hitting 6 digits..feels so good..second of all my last post was in September 2011. Thats 5 months ago..

lot of things have happened in the last 5 months...ranging from taking a new job, moving from one state to another, getting scared and confused about the job.. some things were fun, others were terrifying, all o fthem being a good learning experience..

while early 20s was a good age to try new things professionally, going towards late 20s can be terrifying at times..

i ask myself these questions and dont really find a good answer to calm my nerves. WARNING: THEY MIGHT SCARE YOU AS WELL..have u guys had thoughts like:

1. what the hell am i doing?
2. can i do this job until i retire?
3. do i even like this job?
4. did i make a bad decision taking up this job in the first place?
5. am i earning enough money to buy my own place?
6. will i get lucky in life?
7. am i gay??>>>duh!!!,
8. will i find the right person for myself?
9. can i be faithful to that person?
10. if i do get married, would vagina be as good as butt? >>dont laugh ok!
11. would i be attracted to vaginas or have to pop up the lil blue pill every time before the session?
12. would i end up being a sad old man pumping iron at my 50s, living alone in my home, without a partner and ask questions like: WOULD U MIND A MATURED GUY??
13. would i live with my family forever?
14. what happens when everyone else moves on with their lives?
15. worse what happens when the central focal point of your live being your parents die?
16. how do u go on?

god, its terrifying isnt it?
im in my late 20s and these questions pop in my mind more frequently these days...while i dont regret any of the decisions i have made, i wish that i could figure it out..make sure i know the right decision to make when the time comes..

a 49 year old guys messaged me in pr and asked me: DO YOU MIND A MATURE GUY? and all i can think about is, how sad is this guy..alone and lonely at 49 looking for the mercy of people for attention..maybe i am wrong, i REALLY wish i am wrong..he could be a very successful guy with an excellent career, millionaire with a great family....i wish he is all those..if he is and just looking for a naughty session, im happy for him but if he is really a sad little old man.. i just wish and pray that i dont end up like him...


p.s: how many of you think that the guy with the sexy bulge is to die for and can Anderson Cooper get any hotter than this???

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