YOU MAY STILL END UP BEING A SAD LONELY GAY MAN but any given day it is better to be a rich sad lonely gay man

 My attitude towards my job has been to be the guy who knows his job well and is good at it. I have tendency to over think and analyse things. Combine that with my attention to detail, I turn out to the ‘that’ guy who can trace back emails sent months or years ago to show that I have highlighted some thing and it was taken for granted until it went to hell.

To be fair, I would have indeed addressed a particular issue many times only for it to go in circles until it comes back to me for resolution.

Lately I am watching many videos on tiktok that says: at work, you should not show that you know everything because more and more work would be given to you compared to your less competent colleagues.

There are also many videos which highlight that if you are an over performer, that would translate into a threat to your colleagues or worse superior and they would instead gossip about you and ruin chances of you actually growing in the company.

The best is to do your task and only when the circumstances arise, you go the extra mile to show you are capable of doing extraordinary things.

I wish I knew this sooner. I always thought that if I am good at my work, that would suffice for me to go places. Like the fame, glory and money would come my way and gonads would vibrate due to my power to be extraordinary at work.

There aint no fame glory or shit in being an over achiever.

On one hand, I am glad that I know that now.

My question is: What if you are fundamentally someone who gives a 100% in whatever you do.

Confession time: I never consciously chose this career. It happened because after finishing my secondary education, I did not want to do O levels. Based on that I chose a university that enrolled me and based on my result, I chose my course in engineering.

People who talk about passion and advise about one pursuing something due to passion, I have lotsa respect for you but that’s not how my journey turned out to be.

Im just a guy who took a practical decision. From there, I wanted to give my very best. While I witnessed colleagues, less competent than me getting multiple promotions, I was side-lined. My promotion did not come from my immediate supervisor but from my boss’s boss.

So work started piling. Projects after projects. I am not sure if it was intentional that the company refused to hire more people to work with me, while the incompetent guy had 10 guys working for him while being the least performing team.

After many years, the frustration comes in and I started manifesting. I wanted a break. I wanted a job that gives me time and financial freedom. I manifested this for many years.

Guess what. I happened. I got a job that was not so busy. The thing about manifesting is that it is best to be clear of what you want. Heard of the saying: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR?

I got a job that turns out to be less busy that my previous job but the office environment was toxic. Everyone gossiped because one has less things to do and they compensate with bitchin.

It sucks to be looking for another job, but to be frank it is scarier to think that I wouldn’t have things to market if I continued to stay with this organization.

So ima be manifestin somethin else now.

With age comes maturity and I feel I know a little better of what I want.

Well I may not know what I WANT, but I definitely know WHAT I DON’T WANT.

I also urge my fellow readers to pay attention to financial planning.

If you are an over thinker like me, someone who hates depending on others, gay with no legal rights to partnership, you may want to set all your priorities right.

You can be with someone or in a meaningful lasting relationship but do consider the fact that it does not happen for everyone.

Gay men have lotsa issues. There are also those who take advantage of the other. I know it is an unfair stereotyping, but it is better to be biased if it drives you to put in multiple contingencies rather than trusting blindly, losing yourself completely and maybe what you have earned.

Do a simple mathematics.

Assume you are going to live upto 70.

Pick the age you want to retire, X.

No. of months your retirement fund must last: (Life expectancy - Retiring age) x 12.

Look at all your investments, EPF, etc and look at the projection at your retirement age. That’s your retirement fund.

So:

Retirement fund / no. of months retirement fund must last = how much money you can spend a month >> lets call this figure: “Wake up call”

If the “Wake up call” is giving you sleepless nights….you should wake up and do financial planning before it is too late.

For people like me out there, it is ok if you do not have a passion. Maybe you might not have one or you have not found it yet. Remember, that it is no excuse to not be financially prepared to tackle any circumstances.

If you start today, maybe in 10 years you would have some form of backup. 

I MEAN YOU MAY STILL END UP BEING A SAD LONELY GAY MAN but any given day it is better to be a rich sad lonely gay man