My stolen heartbeat (Part 1)

The first time it happened, i didnt understand what it was. i was 19 and the bear hug from behind was nothing shocking. given the fact that we get along very well it didnt seem strange at all. in fact i enjoyed it immensely.

He had a girlfriend in the beginning of second semester itself. that didnt make any difference. He was my friend, only a friend or at least thats what i thought at that time. end of the semester we were forced to go for a camp in pahang. those who were 'forced' were handpicked by the residential college with the assurance of hostel rooms the subsequent semester. the catch: we were encouraged (more like trapped) to join the organizing committee for the annual 'pesta' which were planned at a grand scale at my university.

there were three buses and 4 of us amongst the 'lucky ones' who got chosen were called out to enter the buses. he and me got into the same bus while the other two in the bus far far away. 

throughout the 6 hour journey, he was my pillow and i was his. he dozed off on my shoulder and me on his, heads banging when the bus went over humps. thats what friends do, i told myself.

6 hours, swollen faces and drenched in each others sweat he got off the bus and cluelessly lined up to be segregated into rooms. this time we werent so lucky. we were put at separate rooms. well so tonight we wont sleep on the same bed....we could get used to it...

flashback: by the end of second semester, we had the habit of sleeping on the same bed. despite the fact that there are two beds in the room. hugging each other to sleep became a routine. chit chatting for hours, only meant going to bed a little earlier. me playing with his hair and ear was very much anticipated by both..to an extend where he starts panting lustfully. it was a normal and natural thing between very close friends....or at least what we told ourselves.

the separate room thing was not even at the back of my mind because we both knew either of us would come to the other one's room that night.. so that night i went to his room. a few lines with his room mate and he dozed off. i jumped on his bed and as usual, lights were turned off and we were tickling each other..

beep beep!! it was a text from his girl...bitch i told myself and brushed it off.

beep beep!! another text....i ignored both the texts. im trying hard to hide my irritation.

then the bitch called. he had to take the call outside since the other guy was already asleep. i was fine until the call. when he left to take it, it hit me....it hit me hard. a wave of realization and jealousy. i didnt understand why i got angry and jealous. i didnt understand it. but i knew for sure it existed...

as the seconds passed by, i got more and more agitated...i was angry at the girl and angry at him for taking it but i cant figure out the reason for it..

throughout the camp, i didnt realize that i got drawn to him...the peck on my cheek where i felt the wetness of his lips during the first brief which i didnt take seriously seems to have a slightly better meaning. i didnt realize it. his bubbly personality, his wits, and the butt!!, he charmed me slowly and steadily. 

the minute and a half of phone call from his girl that night was a shard of glass slicing my emotion and a reminder that it will not be an ideal situation for the both of us...

lying there on the bed alone, i couldnt take it anymore!