My Stolen Heartbeat (Part 2)

i didnt go to an all boys school. i was not accustomed to their mannerism and the way they chill out. for the many of us from co-ed school, we go for movies, yumcha and occasional stay overs at a friend's place. even during stay overs the activities were normally card games, movies and late night supper at famous restaurants.

body contacts were minimal and almost non existent. no hugging. handshakes at the most. of course hand over shoulders, slap on the butt and the normal stuff were acceptable. so being bear hugged from behind, getting a peck on the cheek (in public!) was new, interesting, engaging and dangerous. both of us were always challenging the boundaries when we were at the dormitory but never crossed the line.

our heads on each other's shoulders in a four hour bus journey is not something normal but we got away with it. perhaps it was because we didnt have a hint of femininity in us.

after that gut wrenching phone call from his girl and experiencing severe anger, he came into the room. i didnt want to say or express anything. at the same time i couldnt stay there any longer. i just made up an excuse and told him i wanted to return to my room. we went all whats wrong dude, are u ok and stuff. i dint want to say anything or do anything with him. not then. not that particular night. couldnt even look at his face.

the thing about my face is that, i can never hide my emotions. its like a window to my heart. if im angry, my friends would be carefull not to say anything that might make me angrier. if i was sad, they would make jokes or ask me to go to their room to watch a movie or chat....if i flunked a test, i assure you there will be nothing about the exam being talked about for the whole week...

im a lucky bastard i know...

so he must have read my face and noticed or he must have felt bad himself but i just had to leave.. we were busy the next few days during the camp and kept our communication to the minimum. there were no visiting each other in the room, no public display of affection. the anger was no longer there, neither was there the interest to initiate or spend personal time with him.

the last day, we were returning home and were ready to board the bus. this time, all four of us were in the same bus. he boarded the bus first and he sat at the seat exactly we did before. my other two friends were seated somewhore near to us. i didnt want to sit beside him but, not sitting there would be weird especially since the other two guys are already seated. i had no choice...

after a long tiring camp and feeling sleepy i find myself trying so hard not to doze off. if i did i would end up on his shoulders. i cant let him win and i cant be vulnerable. it was so difficult. my head was hanging towards the aisle the whole hour. an hour of sore neck i told my self:

i am not giving him sore neck at my expense. there should be two of us who's feeling bad not just me with a stiff neck.