Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Im attracted to men and im not ashamed of it..

Sunday, April 19, 2015

1 Week After, I Think I Have a Midlife Crisis...

a wise friend once asked me: im sure you know what you want in life, dont you?
too embarrassed to admit that i do not know, i just told him: yes, sure i do.

if he was to ask me to share with him what i wanted in life, i would have been dumbfounded to tell him that my plans are actually similar to a blank piece of paper....

most of the times i cannot believe myself that i do not have a plan.

to caption what my friend asked me a few years back: if you do not have a plan, what do you work towards to? like if you dont even know where to aim, what are you going to aim to??

at that time, it didnt quite hit me..i always thought that i had time..to think, to figure it all out and put it to action..

truth remains, if we dont start now, we probably would never..

i guess it is probably for the best that Korr gave me that book.it further cements my believe system that
everything happens at the right time, at the right moment with the right person for a specific reason which are not just coincidence..

there are many issues raised in that book that asks these questions..which also leads to finding happiness..

i wish Korr would read it too..

im sure Korr probably already has a plan..if he doesnt, i hope he would not be embarrassed like me to admit it...

Lets put it into a more understandable format..

For example: 5 years from now, what do u want to be?
If you are anything like me..then you would already be in your thirties...and if you are anything like me and dont have a plan, what are you going to end up being..scary huh....?? well not yet...

i dont know if i am the only one in this world without a plan for my life..
i mean i do not regret anything that has happened in my life so far.
i take 1 thing at a time..i ponder and i make the best decision based on the circumstance that i am

so far, it has worked pretty good for me..to a certain extend i have settled down in certain aspects of life..

i think i am reasonably blessed but deep down i just know that i do not have a finish line. taking each day as it comes, i tend to not think beyond what i have to....

for example:

1. short term plans (1-2 yrs plan) - never thought about it
2. mid term plans (5 yrs plan) - never thought about it
3. long term plan (20 yrs plan) - never thought about it

now things get a little scary...

Short term, mid term and long term plans cover important criteria like career, family, owning and maintaining a property, retirement and health..

to admit that i have no actual plans for all the above is a terrifying fact.

we should not compare ourselves with others..true but...my other friends in their 30s already know what job they want to do for the next 20 yrs, they know what age they want to retire, already has family and children and already had retirement plans..which are in motion..they range from properties investment, share market and unit trusts...

i think that i am seriously lagging...

1 week ago when i landed back home from my holiday i started to think about it..

a week later, now i am beginning to seriously consider setting up a plan because lets face it, no one is getting any younger

things would be fine as long as everything is perky and sticking up but i seriously hope that there will not be a time when i would ask myself, if only i did something differently coz lets face it..its too late then.....

i acknowledge that i am late to realize it...i just hope that it is not too late still

keeping fingers crossed...




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